Sunday, September 27, 2009

The Aristocrats

So, i have watched some of the funniest shit ever. My good freind and sir Lee, showed me this movie on this semi inside (i guess not anymore) joke between comics called the Aristocrat, Sophisticat, or Debonaire joke. Apperently, it is when u create this out of this world story, usually involving, family members, small children, grandparents, bodily functions, beastiality, racism, sexism, and whatever other crazy shit you can think of. It basically can go "so, this family walks into a casting studio and then asks to show the studio their act. the family then proceeds to fuck each other in each others bodily fluids and then it ends with the casting studio asking "so what do you call this actt?" to which the family responds "the aristocrats." The video had bob saget, lisa lampoonelli, and other famous comidians comming up with there own version of the joke. Sarah Silverman had rape, and bob saget had a little segment about a kids eye socket. I think the best thing i heard from the video that wasnt, coincidently, an aristocrat joke, was the joke of when a rabbi with a frog walks into a bar and the bartender asks"where did you get that?" to which the frog replies "there are thousands of them walking around in brooklyn." Absolutely wonderful.

PS. Saw the funny segment of Eli Roth responding to "blueberry posts." Funny shit. The pic of him in the pool isnt that bad. Look it up. He made blueberrys really hot for me now.

PPS. Caitlyn, i love you. You always know how to make my day my favorite white ghetto girl. And i would still love you even if you decied to get a weave. I saw a key chain today and it said"Im awesome, whats your excuse" and i thought of you......and the bear jew.

Even More shit: They were doing these things where you could submit questions to the bear jew and i was tempted to ask" so, where do you keep the spare key to your house","are you kosher?", and "whos your best freind?" and "a perfect date?" then to"did your father use any of his shrink techniques on you or did that influence you at all?". To which i thought, "yeah, i cant say that shit." but i had to tell you what i would say, even though people are asking him "would you think about having sex with a dude to see what its like?". Im joking of course, but on the other hand, wouldnt some of my questions have like interesting answers?



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FYI. the cheshire cat reminds me of lee and his smile. Also his personality in general. Oh, the people i befreind.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

A Observation on the beach

So, I had this assignment for my english class which involves going to a location and writing about it. I was actually kind of proud of it so i decided to post it. Well, here it is.

A psychic once told me that I gain most of my energy from water. It just so happens that I was in need of a good energy builds up. So, I went to Trinidad beach, where its beauty can calm even the stormiest of souls.

The sky was this shade of grey blue and white waves of mist launching into the sky. I found a perfect observation point on a rock where I can let my feet dangle into the cold ocean below and I could get a spray of mist in my face every time a wave washes around the rock. I look into the water and realize that it is bluer up here than down south. But it still has that jade green where when the water reaches the shore, it turns semi coopery green mixed with deep blue. It still doesn’t compare to the water in Hawaii, where I long to be back in for another month during the summer.
No one realizes that when the waves are crashing around the jutting rocks that it sounds like someone is ripping a piece of paper in half. Each time the waves crash, the salty mist hits my face, leaving me refreshed and the taste of salt still on my awaiting lips. The wind was powerful today which was driving the waves up and up. The wind whooshed in between the loose strands of my hair to build the waves up so the surfers which were out that day can ride a wave into a new form of nirvana. When it crashes, the waves circle my rock, encompassing my legs in cold frigid water which reminds me of getting my feet washed before entering my home. It reminds me of washing away the outside world and forgetting about tomorrows problems and just makes me worry about what book I should read next in my ever growing library.

The whole beach is draped in pastel colors of burnt brown and semi black for the sand and the deep green of the trees that are stranded on a rock off the coast of the beach where they seem to be dipping lower and lower, trying to reach the ocean and end there miserable existence so they can reach shore and join their fellow forest on the land. The forests fresh water stream meets the oceans salt water in a combination of swirling colors. Like two opposite things, forest and ocean, man and woman, unrest and peace meet and create this combination of tension and togetherness, like they were never supposed to be apart.

As I see the fresh water stream meet the ocean, I hear the black birds cry as they fight over abandoned trash on the beach. As one is about to eat a piece, a dog, presumably a surfers dog who is faithfully waiting for his master to come onto the beach, chases the birds into the air, flying into the sun to be incarcerated in its warm light. The reeds being washed onto the beach encircle my legs, creating anklets made out of long, thin reeds. The wind and sun confuse my body’s inner temperature where all I want to do is just jump into the ocean to stop the confusion.
As I stare into the ocean and the glorious scenery around me, all I could think of was how I promised the old love of my life that we would go to the beach here and that it would be perfect. With the oddly shaped rocks and the quarter shaped jelly fish washed upon the shore, it feels perfect. It would be better if I had someone to share it with. Like every strand being whipped away from my face is them, stroking it out of my eyes and showing me how perfect it all can be.

I realize that all I want to do when I die is just crawl into the ocean and let it close around me, so I could just let it all go. Just so it could be perfect forever. I feel refreshed and rejuvenated. Like an elixir of golden energy is running through my veins. I now feel ready to just take on the week and burry my aching heart away in its little locked box.

It is kind of like a weird diary entry. Well, I am going to get back to reading my zombie book. The last one in the series.*sigh*.

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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I Cant Help but Think about rome

So, i heard eli roth is in rome. Yes, this is a plus, but i really miss Rome now. Just i miss the art, the food, just the feel of the city and not this little piece of civilization in the woods that i have reduced myself to. Just, as all of you know, i need to move here and there. I have been to China, Japan, Italy, Austria, England, France, Switzerland, Brazil, Spain, Portugal, Africa, Mexico, Australia, and alittle bit of the Caymans. I am having issues with the fact i am not traveling much. I want to.....i miss it. Im going ape shit! Especially Venice. I feel like my purpose is just to move. Thats the real reason why i want a good high paying job. So i can just leave for a couple months and be somewhere else.

Ok, I went to a physcic on Sunday and she said in a couple years, i will feel the need to move somewhere else and to go. She also said that i will be rich and healthy. But, a good freind of mine will worry me and because of this, i will get stressed and let all this bad karma in. Great right? Im already a bit stressed as it is.

PS. I am signing up for a new photobucket account. You know those catcher things where you need to type the weird shaped words? Well, i had to type in "something Heinous" into it and i realized it described me perfectly.

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Monday, September 21, 2009

Fan Fiction?

So, like i know alot of people have guilty pleasures and im not saying that i dont, but this isnt one of them. Fan Fiction. Where you just dont want the story to end. Like have u ever had that moment of WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHY DID IT END LIKE THAT?!?!?!?!?!? I WANT MORE___!!!!!!!!!!(this is where you insert words like story, sex, death, drugs, or boobs.) Well, now, i have certain people (who shall not be named) sending me fan fiction from there favorite stories, movies etc. so far, the funniest is probably the shit on Eli Roths Twitter where they talk about how he and the character Aldo Raine apperently hook up and Roth ends up the catcher. I found this shit hilarious of course. So, i had to share it. But I know there are like some moments where ur like, "DONT END LIKE THIS!!!!" to what ever creative outlet there is. Like with me, it is pride and prejeduce and The Last Days Zombies Trilogy. So, i just want to say thank you to the people sending me the weirdest shit ever. You make my day.

Asta La Vista,
Aurora



bear jew Pictures, Images and Photos


Oh, yeah. I can see him being a catcher. Lmao.

My New Blog!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!

So, after debateing with myself forever and a day, i decided to make a blog for the occasional movie, story, poem, picture, thought, reserch, hot men and women, and the fleeting thought of the bear jew that runs through my mind like a pair of running feet trying to chase the sun. So, anyone new to this blog, tell me what u think and comment. I wont know if i am getting anywhere or as my fellow blogging freind Caitlyn likes to put so bluntly, if im just talking to myself.



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The Pumpkin King By Mark Ryden